Current mood:

hungry

Cruelty and starvation.
It was brought to Mom's attention at our last Vet visit that there is a need for weight loss in our household. One only has to look at my rotund sibling to come to the conclusion of "Well, duh." My brother is nearly large enough to warrant his own orbiting defense satellites. But then it was insinuated that I am in fact a bit over my "ideal weight"! Just because I do not personally ascribe to the scrawny, "alley-cat-chic" that is currently in fashion, I am touted as pudgy! I consider myself to be quite sleek, thank you.

But my protests fell on deaf ears, and my brother and I have recently been subjected to the rigors of... *shudder* dieting. No more Gooshy Food, no more even regular food. Just hideous flattened pellets that are supposedly diet cat food. We might as well be eating rocks for all the flavor this kibble affords. Well, Caramon eats rocks anyway, but that's beside the point.

But all is not lost! In the guise of play, I was rolling atop Mom's purse last night. While she was distracted, I ducked my head inside and found her Plastic Square of Numbers that she uses when ordering pizza. I know also that it can be ordered online, which should be no difficulty as I have sufficiently mastered typing. The only obstacle now lies in actually opening the door when it arrives. Perhaps a disguise is in order, or some type of pulley device to reach the doorknob. Must think on this.